When it comes to friendship, however, that doesn’t directly serve the purpose of reproduction, we’ve left things alone, expecting friendships to form with minimal effort and judging those who don’t manage to do it with ease.While being single is seen as an acceptable state of being, being friendless is not.And don’t forget all of those fuzzy buzzwords like passion, destiny and soulmate, that indulge my sense of “meant-to-be-ness.” In the first few dates it’s good to feel giddy with possibility, to write our names together on paper and to re-live magic moments like when we first leaned in to each other and felt the flash of belonging.It’s also easy to roll right past any warning signs that are flashing gently by the side of the road.As I've written in this space before, feelings obviously have their place in helping us discern what our hearts desire, but normally the main way God leads His people is not through subjective feelings but through His Word.Paul tells us in 2 Timothy -17 that "[a]ll Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be " (emphasis added).
Who needs mystery, confusion and ambiguity when clarity is so much… In case you’re feeling a twinge of resistance to the idea of asserting yourself romantically, rest assured that, even for as uncomfortable as it may seem, it’s a skill well worth acquiring. He told me very clearly that he wanted a serious relationship with someone who was available in every way and that he didn’t need any more friends. Joe was classy and direct, and he did us both a favor in the process.
As Dr Max Blumberg, psychologist at Goldsmiths, University of London, explains, while there’s a protocol for dating – through apps, flirting, or even the act of asking someone to hang out as a means to form a romantic relationship – there’s no such thing for friendship; because we expect that to happen naturally.
Dating is essential for evolutionary purposes, so over time humans have focused more energy on creating tools and frameworks to make sure we’re able to happily and easily reproduce.
One thing to mention straight away is that you seem to be relying a lot on feelings to make this really significant decision ("unsettled," can't get "completely at peace," etc.).
If I've understood you correctly, you seem even to be elevating certain feelings to a level of decisive authority as to whether you should proceed.